You have probably heard it before: just be grateful. Maybe a friend said it when you were struggling, or you saw it on a poster. It can feel helpful, or it can feel like being told your pain does not count. The truth about gratitude and mental health sits somewhere in between. Gratitude practices can lift mood and ease some symptoms. But they work best as one tool among many, not as a cure. This post explains what the research says about the benefits of gratitude, how to try a gratitude practice that feels real, and how to avoid sliding into toxic positivity.
This post is general information, not a diagnosis or a treatment plan.
What is gratitude, really?
Gratitude means noticing and appreciating the good things in your life, big or small. It can be about people, like a friend who checked in. It can be about moments, like sunlight through a window. It can even be about yourself, like getting through a hard day.
Gratitude is not:
Pretending everything is fine.
Ignoring problems or pain.
Comparing yourself to people who "have it worse."
A rule that you must feel thankful all the time.
You can feel grateful for some things and still be sad, angry or scared about others. Both can be true at once.
What the research says about the benefits of gratitude
Researchers have studied gratitude interventions for years. These are simple activities, like writing down things you are thankful for or writing a letter to someone who helped you.
A 2023 systematic review and meta analysis pulled together 64 randomized clinical trials of gratitude interventions (Diniz and colleagues, see Sources). People who took part in gratitude activities reported:
More feelings of gratitude.
Better mental health.
Fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression.
A more positive mood and emotions.
That is encouraging. But the authors were careful about what it means. They concluded that gratitude can be used as a therapeutic complement for treating anxiety and depression. In other words, it adds to treatment. It does not replace it.
A 2025 study tested a gratitude app with university students over three weeks (Fuller and colleagues, see Sources). The app prompted daily exercises, including a gratitude journal. Students who started with at least moderate symptoms of depression, anxiety or stress saw their symptoms drop. But in the full group, which included many students with low symptoms, there was no clear change. So gratitude may help some people more than others, and results depend on where you start.
Gratitude is a complement, not a cure
It is important to be honest about limits. If you are dealing with depression, anxiety or trauma, a gratitude list alone is unlikely to fix it. That is not a failure on your part. These are real health conditions that often need more support.
Think of gratitude like a daily walk. It is good for you. It can lift your mood. But if you have a broken leg, a walk will not set the bone. You need care for the injury too.
If you are working with a counsellor, gratitude can fit in alongside that work. If you are not, and you are struggling, it is okay to want more than a journal can give.
When gratitude turns into toxic positivity
Toxic positivity is the idea that you should always stay positive, no matter what. It can sound like:
"Look on the bright side."
"Other people have it so much worse."
"Just be grateful for what you have."
"Good vibes only."
These lines often come from a kind place. But they can make people feel ashamed of hard feelings. They can also push pain underground, where it often grows.
Here are some signs gratitude has slipped into toxic positivity:
You feel guilty for being sad.
You use thankfulness to shut down a friend who is struggling.
You list things to be grateful for so you do not have to feel anything else.
You feel like a failure when gratitude does not make the pain go away.
Healthy gratitude makes room for all your feelings. It says, "This is hard, and I also noticed something good today."
How to start a gratitude practice that feels real
There is no single right way. Try a few ideas and keep what fits.
Keep a gratitude journal. Once a day, or a few times a week, write down one to three things you are thankful for. Be specific. "My sister called to check on me" lands more than "family." If writing helps you, our post on journaling for anxiety has more ideas.
Notice small moments. Warm coffee. A song you love. A kind word from a coworker. Small things count.
Write a thank you note. Think of someone who made a difference for you. Write them a note. You can send it or keep it.
Pair it with an honest check in. Before your gratitude list, write one line about how you really feel. This helps keep the practice honest.
Be kind to yourself on hard days. Some days you may only manage "I got out of bed." That counts. If being kind to yourself feels hard, our post on self compassion may help.
Do not force it. If a practice starts to feel like a chore or a test, take a break. Gratitude should feel like noticing, not grading yourself.
Gratitude when life is really hard
Some seasons of life are heavy. Grief, illness, job loss or a breakup can make gratitude feel out of reach, or even insulting. That is okay. You do not have to feel thankful for the hard thing itself.
If you want to try, start very small. Gratitude in hard times might be a friend who sat with you, a meal someone dropped off, or a moment of quiet before bed. It might be noticing that you made it through one more day. These small notes do not erase the pain. They simply remind you that the pain is not the whole story.
And if even that feels like too much right now, set gratitude aside. Looking after yourself in other ways matters more than any practice.
When to talk to someone
Gratitude can be a lovely part of looking after your mental health. But if you notice any of the following, it may be time to reach out:
Low mood, worry or numbness that lasts more than a couple of weeks.
Trouble sleeping, eating or getting through the day.
Feeling hopeless, or that nothing you try helps.
Using positivity to cover up feelings you are scared to face.
Counselling gives you a space to talk about the hard parts and the good parts. A counsellor can help you understand what you are going through and find tools that fit. You can learn more on our depression counselling page.
You do not need to feel grateful to deserve support. You only need to want things to feel a little better.
Cost, billing and your first step
Sessions with our therapists range from $130 to $200, depending on the clinician.
We accept Health Spending Accounts (HSAs).
We can direct bill many insurers. Coverage depends on your plan, so check with your insurer before you start.
Book a free 15-minute consultation with our admin team. We can help you find a counsellor, in person or online.
If you're in crisis: if you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 911. If you're thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 any time, day or night.
Last reviewed: October 2026
Sources
Diniz, G., and colleagues. "The effects of gratitude interventions: a systematic review and meta-analysis." Einstein (Sao Paulo). 2023. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10393216/
Fuller, C., and colleagues. "A Mobile App-Based Gratitude Intervention's Effect on Mental Well-Being in University Students: Randomized Controlled Trial." JMIR mHealth and uHealth. 2025. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11749078/