For many people, the holidays mean food at the centre of every gathering. There may be comments about second helpings, talk about diets in January and remarks about how someone looks. If you are in recovery from an eating disorder, or you love someone who is, this time of year can feel like a lot. This guide offers a gentle plan, simple scripts and ways family can help, so the season can be about connection, not just getting through it.
This post is general information, not medical advice or a diagnosis.
Why the holidays can be hard in recovery
The National Institute of Mental Health describes eating disorders as serious illnesses (see Sources). The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health notes that they affect health, relationships and day-to-day living (see Sources). Recovery takes real effort, and the holidays can add pressure in a few ways:
Food is everywhere. Big meals, treats at work and food as the main event.
Routines change. Travel, late nights and busy days can throw off the steady patterns that support recovery.
Diet talk is common. People talk about "being bad," "earning" food or plans to "make up for it" in January.
Body comments happen. Relatives may comment on how someone looks, even when they mean well.
Family stress. Old roles and tensions can come back when everyone is together.
None of this means you are doing recovery wrong. It means the season asks a lot of you.
What research says about diet and body talk
Talk about weight and bodies can have a real effect. A review of 24 studies found a clear link between "fat talk" (negative talk about body size) and body dissatisfaction. The link was strongest in studies done at one point in time. There was less evidence that fat talk directly causes body dissatisfaction, and the authors said more research was needed (Sharpe and colleagues, 2013, see Sources).
A study of teens and their parents found that when parents talked about weight or size, teens were more likely to diet, use unhealthy ways to control weight and binge eat. When parents talked about healthful eating without focusing on weight, the pattern was more protective (Berge and colleagues, 2013, see Sources). This was a study that looked at links, not causes.
The takeaway is simple. What people say about food and bodies around the table matters.
Make a plan before the gathering
A plan can help you feel more ready. You might think about:
Your support team. If you have a therapist or treatment team, talk with them about the holidays ahead of time.
Your recovery plan. Keep following what you and your team have agreed on, even on busy days.
A support person. Choose one person at the gathering who knows what you need and can help.
An exit plan. Know how you will take a break or leave early if you need to.
Your why. Write down a few reasons recovery matters to you, and keep them on your phone.
You don't have to say yes to every event. It's okay to choose the gatherings that feel most manageable.
Scripts for diet and body talk
It can help to have a few words ready. Short, calm lines are often enough:
"I'd rather not talk about diets today. How's work going?"
"Let's not comment on bodies, okay?"
"I'm working on having a better relationship with food, so I'm skipping diet talk."
"Thanks, but I'm not going to talk about my weight."
"Can we change the subject?"
You can also just leave the conversation. Going to refill your drink or check on a child is a perfectly good way out.
If someone keeps pushing, your support person can step in and steer the talk somewhere else.
Getting through the meal
Meals can be the hardest part. Some ideas that may help:
Stay connected to your plan from your treatment team.
Sit next to your support person, or someone who feels safe.
Focus on the people. Ask questions, listen to stories and notice the moments of connection.
Plan something after the meal, like a game, a movie or a call to a friend.
Be gentle with yourself. If a meal doesn't go the way you hoped, it doesn't erase your progress.
Taking breaks and caring for yourself
You are allowed to take breaks. Step outside for fresh air, go to a quiet room or send a text to someone who supports you.
Other ways to care for yourself during the season:
Keep some parts of your normal routine
Get rest when you can
Wear clothes that feel comfortable
Spend time with people who make you feel accepted
Notice and name hard feelings, rather than pushing them away
Recovery is not a straight line. A hard day over the holidays is part of the process, not a failure.
How family and friends can help
If someone you love is in recovery, you can make a big difference:
Skip diet and weight talk. Avoid comments about anyone's body, including your own.
Don't comment on what's on their plate. Let them eat without being watched.
Ask what helps. "Is there anything that would make today easier?" is a kind question.
Keep the focus on connection. Games, stories and shared activities take the pressure off food.
Be a quiet ally. Change the subject when diet talk starts.
You don't need to have perfect words. Showing that you are on their side is what matters most.
After the holidays
January often brings a wave of diet ads and "new year, new you" messages. That can be hard in recovery. It may help to unfollow accounts that focus on weight loss, plan time with people who support you and check in with your treatment team.
When to get extra support
Reach out for more support if:
Eating disorder thoughts are getting louder
You are going back to old behaviours
You feel very low, anxious or alone
You are worried about your physical health
If someone is in medical danger, call 911. If you are thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 any time.
How counselling can help
A therapist can help you prepare for the holidays, practise what to say and get back on track after a hard moment. Counselling can also help family members learn how to support someone they love.
Our therapists who list eating disorders and are accepting new clients include:
We offer counselling at our Kitchener-Waterloo, Cambridge and Ottawa offices and online across Ontario.
Common questions about the holidays in recovery
Should I skip holiday events? That is your choice. Some people go to fewer events or shorter ones. Talk it through with your support team.
What if a relative comments on my body? Use a short script, change the subject or step away. You don't owe anyone an explanation.
What if I have a setback? Be kind to yourself and reach out to your support team. One hard day does not undo your recovery.
Cost, billing and your first step
Sessions with our therapists range from $130 to $200, depending on the clinician.
We accept Health Spending Accounts (HSAs).
We can direct bill many insurers. Coverage depends on your plan, so check with your insurer before you start.
Book a free 15-minute consultation with our admin team. If the holidays feel heavy in recovery, a counsellor can help you plan ahead and feel more supported.
If you're in crisis: if you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 911. If you're thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 any time, day or night.
Last reviewed: October 2026
Sources
Sharpe H, Naumann U, Treasure J, Schmidt U. "Is fat talking a causal risk factor for body dissatisfaction? A systematic review and meta-analysis." Int J Eat Disord. 2013;46(7):643-52. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23818118/
Berge JM, MacLehose R, Loth KA, Eisenberg M, Bucchianeri MM, Neumark-Sztainer D. "Parent conversations about healthful eating and weight: associations with adolescent disordered eating behaviors." JAMA Pediatr. 2013;167(8):746-53. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23797808/
National Institute of Mental Health. "Eating Disorders." https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/eating-disorders
Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. "Eating Disorders." https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/mental-illness-and-addiction-index/eating-disorders