If you have lived through sexual abuse or assault, deciding to talk to someone can feel like a huge step. You may have questions about what counselling involves, how much you would have to say and whether you are "ready." Sexual abuse counselling in Ottawa starts with what you want, not with what happened. This post walks through deciding when to start, what the first contact and session can look like, the choices you keep the whole way through and how to find a therapist downtown or online.
This post is general information, not medical or legal advice. It does not describe abuse in detail.
If you are not safe right now: if you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you are thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 any time, day or night.
Deciding when you are ready
There is no right time to start therapy for sexual abuse survivors. Some people reach out within days. Others wait months or decades. Both are okay.
You do not need to have:
A clear memory of everything that happened
A label for what happened
Told anyone else first
Reported it to police
Reached a point where it is "bad enough"
Some people come to counselling because of the abuse itself. Others come for something that seems separate, like trouble sleeping, panic, feeling numb, struggles with closeness or drinking more than they want to. Sometimes the link to past abuse only becomes clear later.
Sexual abuse counselling in Ottawa is open to you whenever you decide it is time. If you are not sure, a free consultation is a low-pressure way to ask questions first.
What to expect in the first contact and first session
The free consultation. You can start with a free 15-minute phone call with our admin team. You do not have to share any details about what happened. You can ask questions like:
Who on your team works with sexual trauma?
Can I see someone online?
Can I choose the gender of my therapist?
What if I need to stop or take a break?
The first session. In your first session, the therapist will usually ask how you are doing right now, what is hard day to day and what you hope will change. They may ask about safety, sleep and the people who support you.
What you never have to say. You do not have to describe the abuse in your first session, or in any session, unless and until you choose to. A good sexual trauma therapist will not push you for details. You can say "I'm not ready to talk about that" at any time.
Choices you keep the whole way through
Therapy is something you do with your therapist, not something done to you. You stay in charge of many choices:
Pace. You decide how fast or slow to go.
Your therapist. You can ask to switch if the fit does not feel right. That is a normal request.
In person or online. You can meet in an office or join from a private space at home.
What you share. You can keep some things private, for now or forever.
Breaks. You can pause, slow down or stop.
Feeling in control matters, especially after an experience where control was taken from you. Our post on how to choose a trauma therapist in Ontario has more questions you can ask.
Why good therapy does not rush the details
Many people worry that therapy means going over the worst moments again and again. Good trauma therapy does not start there.
Often, the first focus is on safety and coping skills. That can include:
Grounding skills, such as naming what you see around you or feeling your feet on the floor
Ways to calm your body when a memory or reminder hits
Getting sleep and daily routines a little steadier
Building support with people you trust
A study that interviewed male survivors of adult sexual assault and sexual trauma therapists found that trust was built through clear explanations of how trauma affects people and through listening that focused on the present. A focus on trauma details too early got in the way of trust (Guter and colleagues, 2025, see Sources).
Later, if and when you choose, some people do work on the memories themselves. A large review of psychological therapies for adults with post-traumatic stress disorder found that trauma-focused therapies had the strongest evidence, with cognitive processing therapy among them (Lewis and colleagues, 2020, see Sources). CAMH notes that people can recover from post-traumatic stress disorder, and that counselling and psychotherapy are part of treatment (see Sources).
Recovery looks different for everyone. There is no deadline.
Survivors who are often overlooked
Sexual assault counselling in Ottawa is for everyone. Some survivors worry they will not be believed or will not fit in. That includes:
Men and boys. Male survivors often face extra shame and myths about masculinity.
LGBTQ2S+ survivors. You may worry about being judged, or about your identity being blamed.
People harmed by a partner. Sexual abuse can happen inside a relationship or marriage.
People harmed as children. Effects can show up years later, in adulthood.
People who knew the person who harmed them. This is very common.
If a partner is harming you now, our support for survivors of violence page has more on how we can help. Your safety comes first.
Seeing a sexual trauma therapist, downtown or online
These therapists list sexual abuse on their own profiles and are accepting new clients. Both see clients online, so you can meet with them from Ottawa:
For Ottawa clients, sessions with both are online. Online sexual abuse counselling lets you join from anywhere in Ontario using a secure video link. Choose a private spot where you feel safe. Some people sit in their car or use headphones.
Our Ottawa office is at 1 Rideau St, 7th Floor, inside the Fairmont Chateau Laurier, a short walk from Rideau Station.
Taking care of yourself between sessions
Therapy can bring up strong feelings, especially early on. Some gentle ways to look after yourself between sessions:
Plan something calming after each session, like a walk or a warm drink
Keep a short list of grounding steps on your phone
Let one trusted person know you have started therapy, if that feels safe
Tell your therapist if a session felt like too much, so you can adjust together
Common questions about sexual abuse counselling
Do I have to report the abuse to get counselling? No. You can get counselling whether or not you have reported or plan to report.
Will I have to talk about what happened? Only if and when you choose to. Many people start with coping skills and how they are doing now.
Can I see someone online? Yes. Both therapists named above see clients online.
What if it happened a long time ago? Counselling can help at any point, whether it happened last month or decades ago.
Cost, billing and your first step
Sessions with our therapists range from $130 to $200, depending on the clinician.
We accept Health Spending Accounts (HSAs).
We can direct bill many insurers. Coverage depends on your plan, so check with your insurer before you start.
Book a free 15-minute consultation with our admin team. You can ask questions first, with no pressure to share anything about what happened.
If you are not safe: if you are in immediate danger, or someone is threatening or hurting you, call 911. If you are thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 any time, day or night. If you have just been assaulted, you do not have to decide anything right away; getting to a safe place comes first.
If you're in crisis: if you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 911. If you're thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 any time, day or night.
Last reviewed: October 2026
Sources
Guter M, Einat T, Gueta K. "Therapeutic Alliance and In-Session Therapy Needs of Male Adult Sexual Assault Survivors: Perspectives of Survivors and Therapists." Arch Sex Behav. 2025;54(6):2287-2302. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12283907/
Lewis C, Roberts NP, Andrew M, Starling E, Bisson JI. "Psychological therapies for post-traumatic stress disorder in adults: systematic review and meta-analysis." Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2020;11(1):1729633. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7144187/
CAMH. "Posttraumatic Stress Disorder." https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/mental-illness-and-addiction-index/posttraumatic-stress-disorder