Your morning starts with lunches and school drop-off. By noon you're on the phone about your dad's appointments. In the evening you're helping with homework, then driving across town to check on your mom. If you feel pulled in every direction, caring for your kids and your parents at the same time, you may be part of the sandwich generation. The stress is real, and you don't have to carry it alone.
This post is general information, not a diagnosis. Only a qualified professional can assess what you're experiencing.
What is the sandwich generation?
The sandwich generation is a term for adults who are "sandwiched" between two generations that need them. Researchers Michael Owsiany, Erin Fenstermacher and Barry Edelstein describe sandwich generation caregivers as people who provide care, financial support and emotional support to both their children and their parents.
That care can look many different ways. You might be raising young kids while helping a parent after a fall. You might have teens or young adults at home while managing a parent's money, meals or medical appointments. Some people are caring for a parent who lives with them, while others are coordinating care from far away.
Whatever it looks like, being a sandwich generation caregiver usually means a long list of responsibilities and not much time for yourself.
Why sandwich generation stress hits so hard
Caring for one generation is demanding. Caring for two at once can feel overwhelming. Some reasons sandwich generation stress builds so quickly:
Competing demands. A child's concert and a parent's appointment land on the same afternoon, and you can't be in two places.
Guilt in both directions. When you're with your kids, you worry about your parent. When you're with your parent, you feel you're missing time with your kids.
Little time for yourself. Rest, exercise and friendships often slip to the bottom of the list.
Work and money strain. Juggling caregiving with a job, and sometimes helping financially, adds pressure.
Role changes. Caring for a parent who once cared for you can bring up grief and complicated feelings.
Research reflects how heavy this can be. In a US study, Owsiany and colleagues found that sandwich generation caregivers and people caring for parents reported higher caregiving burnout than people caring only for children. A follow-up study by Fenstermacher and colleagues found the same pattern, and noted that for sandwich generation caregivers, the quality of their caregiving relationships, both the warm parts and the strained parts, was linked with burnout.
In other words, it's not just about how many tasks you have. How you feel within those relationships matters too.
Signs of sandwich generation burnout
Stress can slowly turn into burnout when it goes on for a long time without enough rest or support. You might notice:
feeling exhausted most of the time, even after sleep
snapping at your kids, partner or parent more than usual
resentment toward family members who aren't helping
trouble sleeping or switching off at night
putting off your own health needs
pulling away from friends or things you used to enjoy
feeling like you're failing everyone
The National Institute of Mental Health notes that when stress doesn't go away and starts to interfere with your life, it can affect sleep and your physical health, and may raise the risk of anxiety or depression. NIMH suggests steps like regular exercise, healthy regular meals and a steady sleep routine to help manage it.
These signs are common, and they're not a personal failing. They're a signal that you're carrying too much. This isn't a test, and only a qualified professional can assess what you're experiencing. Our page on sandwich generation stress and burnout explains how counselling can help.
How to cope when you're caring for kids and parents
You can't add hours to the day, but you can make the load feel a little lighter. A few ideas:
Name your limits. Decide what you can realistically do each week, and say it out loud to your family.
Share the tasks. Ask siblings, your partner or older kids to take on specific jobs. The National Institute on Aging suggests asking for small things at first and breaking large jobs into simpler tasks.
Build in small recovery. Even ten minutes of quiet, a short walk or a cup of tea alone can help you reset.
Keep up with your own health. The National Institute on Aging encourages caregivers to eat well, stay active in ways they enjoy and take breaks when needed.
Let go of perfect. Some meals will be simple. Some chores will wait. That's okay.
Stay connected. A quick call with a friend can remind you that you're more than your to-do list.
It also helps to remember that your own wellbeing isn't selfish. You're better able to care for others when you're not running on empty.
Talking as a family about care
In many families, one person becomes the default caregiver, often because they live closest, have the most flexible job or simply stepped in first. Over time, that arrangement can feel unfair, even if no one meant it to be.
Many sandwich generation caregivers end up doing most of the work because roles were never openly discussed. A family conversation can help share the load more fairly and reduce resentment.
Some things to talk about:
what your parent wants, in their own words
which tasks each sibling or family member can take on
how decisions will be made, and who will be kept informed
what support you need from your partner
These conversations aren't always easy. Old family patterns can surface, and people may have very different ideas about what's best. Family therapy can give everyone a neutral space to talk, listen and plan together, so one person isn't left holding everything.
Whether you're caring for a toddler and a parent, or a teenager and a grandparent, you deserve support for yourself too.
How counselling can help sandwich generation caregivers
Counselling offers a space that's just for you, where you don't have to take care of anyone else for an hour. A therapist can help you:
sort through guilt, grief and resentment without judgment
set boundaries with family members
find small, realistic ways to rest and recharge
manage stress before it turns into burnout
plan for changes in your parent's needs
At Transformation Counselling, we offer individual counselling and family therapy at our Kitchener-Waterloo, Cambridge and Ottawa offices, and online anywhere in Ontario. Online counselling can be especially helpful when your schedule is already full, since you can join from home, the car or a quiet corner at work.
On the practical side, we can direct bill many insurers, including for sessions with a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying). Desjardins is the exception: through TELUS eClaims, we can direct bill Desjardins for sessions with an RSW, RP or psychologist, but not for an RP (Qualifying). Coverage depends on your plan, so check with your insurer.
You don't have to wait until you're completely exhausted to reach out. Book a free 15-minute consultation with our admin team, and we'll help you find a therapist who understands caregiving stress.
If you're in crisis: if you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 911. If you're thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 any time, day or night.
Caring for the people you love is meaningful work, and it's also hard work. You deserve care too.
Last reviewed: October 2026
Sources
Owsiany MT, Fenstermacher EA, Edelstein BA. Burnout and depression among sandwich generation caregivers: a brief report. International Journal of Aging and Human Development, 2023;97(4):425-434 (PubMed 37312495)
Fenstermacher EA, Owsiany MT, Ju CH, Lohmar S, Edelstein BA. Prediction of burnout and psychosocial differences among sandwich generation and other informal caregivers. Aging and Mental Health, 2026
National Institute on Aging (NIA). Taking Care of Yourself: Tips for Caregivers. nia.nih.gov
I'm So Stressed Out! Fact Sheet, National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)