You've heard EMDR can help with trauma, but the idea of moving your eyes back and forth while thinking about something painful sounds a little strange. Maybe it also sounds scary. Will you have to relive everything? Will you lose control? Knowing what happens in an EMDR session ahead of time can take a lot of that fear away. This walkthrough explains each step in plain language, so you know what to expect before you walk in.
Every therapist works a little differently, but most EMDR therapy follows the same eight-phase structure.
What is EMDR therapy?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It was developed in the late 1980s by psychologist Francine Shapiro to help people heal from distressing memories.
The idea is that some painful memories get "stuck." They weren't fully processed when they happened, so they keep feeling raw, as if the danger is still happening. EMDR aims to help your brain finish processing those memories, so they feel more like the past and less like the present.
During part of the therapy, you focus briefly on a memory while doing bilateral stimulation. That means something that goes left and right, back and forth, such as:
following your therapist's fingers or a light with your eyes
hearing tones that switch between your left and right ears
feeling gentle taps on alternating sides of your body
EMDR is one of the therapies included in the American Psychological Association's clinical practice guideline for treating PTSD.
What happens in an EMDR session, phase by phase
EMDR therapy follows eight phases. Some take one session, some take several and some happen within every session.
Phase 1, history and treatment planning
Your first sessions look a lot like regular counselling. Your therapist asks about your history, what's bringing you in and what you'd like to feel different. Together, you pick which memories or problems to work on and in what order. Your therapist will also look at the coping skills and support you already have.
Phase 2, preparation
Before any memory work starts, your therapist explains how EMDR works and answers your questions. You'll also learn ways to calm yourself, such as imagining a calm place or using breathing or grounding skills. You'll agree on a "stop" signal, so you can pause at any time. This phase is about building trust and making sure you feel steady enough to begin.
Phase 3, assessment
Here, you and your therapist set up the memory you'll work on. You'll be asked to pick an image that represents it, the negative belief about yourself that goes with it (like "I'm not safe" or "It was my fault") and a positive belief you'd like to hold instead. You'll also rate how upsetting the memory feels right now, often on a scale from 0 to 10, and notice where you feel it in your body.
Phase 4, desensitization
This is the part most people picture when they think of EMDR. You hold the memory in mind while doing sets of bilateral stimulation. After each short set, your therapist asks something like, "What do you notice now?" You share a few words, and then you continue.
Thoughts, images, feelings or body sensations may shift from set to set. You don't have to force anything. This continues until the memory feels much less upsetting.
Phase 5, installation
Once the memory feels less charged, your therapist helps strengthen the positive belief you chose, such as "I'm safe now" or "I did the best I could." You rate how true it feels and keep going with bilateral stimulation until it feels more solid.
Phase 6, body scan
You hold the memory and the positive belief in mind while scanning your body from head to toe. If any tension or discomfort is left, it becomes the focus of more processing.
Phase 7, closure
Every EMDR session ends with closure, whether or not the memory is finished. Your therapist helps you return to a calm, settled state before you leave. You may use the calming skills you learned in the preparation phase. Your therapist will also let you know what you might notice in the days ahead.
Phase 8, reevaluation
At the start of the next session, you and your therapist check in on the memory you worked on last time. Is the distress still low? Does the positive belief still feel true? This helps decide what to work on next.
What it feels like during reprocessing
Many people are surprised by how EMDR actually feels. Here's what people often notice:
You stay awake and in control. EMDR is not hypnosis. You're aware of where you are the whole time and can stop whenever you need to.
You don't have to describe every detail. EMDR doesn't require talking about a painful memory in depth.
Feelings may come up. It's normal to feel sadness, anger or fear for a short time as the memory is processed. Your therapist is right there with you.
Things can shift quickly. Some people notice new memories, insights or a sense of distance from the event.
After an EMDR session
Processing can continue after you leave. In the hours or days that follow, some people notice:
feeling tired or drained
vivid dreams
new memories or thoughts coming up
a sense of lightness or relief
It helps to plan a gentle evening after a session, use your calming skills and jot down anything you notice to share next time. If something feels too hard between sessions, let your therapist know.
How to prepare for your first EMDR session
You don't need to do anything special before EMDR. Still, a few simple steps can help you feel more at ease.
Write down your questions. Ask anything, including how long phases usually take and what happens if you feel overwhelmed.
Think about what you want to change. You don't need a full list of memories. A sense of what's weighing on you is enough to start.
Plan a soft landing. Try not to book a big meeting or a hard conversation right after a reprocessing session.
Eat and rest. Coming in hungry or very tired can make it harder to focus.
Remember you're in charge. You can pause, slow down or choose a different target at any point.
It's also okay to feel nervous. Tell your therapist. Going at a pace that feels safe is part of how EMDR works.
How many EMDR sessions will I need?
There's no set number. It depends on what you're working on, how many memories are involved and how quickly you feel ready to move through each phase. A single upsetting event may need fewer sessions than trauma that happened many times over years. Your therapist will check in with you about progress along the way.
Is EMDR right for you?
EMDR is best known as a treatment for trauma and PTSD, and it can also help with other distressing memories. It may not be the first step for everyone. If life feels very unstable right now, your therapist may suggest building coping skills first.
At Transformation Counselling, trained therapists offer EMDR therapy as part of our trauma and PTSD counselling. We also offer trauma therapy in Cambridge, as well as in Waterloo, Kitchener and Ottawa.
If memories become overwhelming or you are thinking about suicide, please reach out right away. Call or text 9-8-8 any time. In Waterloo Region, Here 24/7 is 1-844-437-3247. In Ottawa, call the Mental Health Crisis Line at 613-722-6914 (ages 16 and up). In an emergency, call 911.
Frequently asked questions
Does EMDR work right away?
Some people feel a shift after one reprocessing session. For others, change builds more slowly. Both are normal.
Is there homework?
EMDR doesn't require homework between sessions, though your therapist may suggest using calming skills or keeping brief notes.
Do I need a referral?
No. You can book directly, and there are evening and weekend appointments.
Take the first step
If you're curious whether EMDR could help you, start with a free 15-minute consultation. Our team can answer your questions and help you find a trained EMDR therapist who fits.