Your teen used to love hockey practice and now has a stomach ache every Thursday. They snap when you ask a simple question. They're up past midnight, then can't get out of bed. Is it a phase, normal teen stress or something more? This guide walks through the signs of anxiety in teenagers that parents often notice first, including the ones that look like attitude, how to talk with your teen and when counselling can help.
This post is general information, not a diagnosis or a treatment plan. It can't tell you whether your teen has an anxiety disorder, and it isn't a checklist to score. Only a qualified professional can make that call.
Anxiety in teenagers is common, and it's not a character flaw
Some worry is a normal part of growing up. Tests, friendships, sports tryouts and first jobs all bring nerves, and a little nervousness can even help a teen prepare. Anxiety in teenagers becomes a concern when the worry is out of proportion to the situation, sticks around for weeks and starts to get in the way of school, friends, sleep or family life.
It's also more common than many parents expect. In U.S. survey data reported by the National Institute of Mental Health, about one in three teens aged 13 to 18 had met the criteria for an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. If your teen is struggling, they are far from alone, and neither are you.
Body signs
Anxiety lives in the body as much as in the mind. Some of the most common symptoms of anxiety in teenagers are physical:
stomach aches, nausea or headaches, especially before school or specific events
trouble falling asleep, waking often or feeling tired all the time
a racing heart, shaky hands or feeling short of breath
tense shoulders, jaw clenching or restlessness
changes in appetite
Physical complaints that keep showing up before the same situations are worth noticing. A teen who feels sick every Sunday night may be telling you something about Monday.
Worry and thinking signs
On the inside, anxiety often sounds like a constant stream of "what ifs." You might notice:
lots of reassurance seeking ("Are you sure it'll be okay?")
catastrophizing, where a small mistake feels like a disaster
trouble concentrating or making decisions
perfectionism, like redoing homework many times or freezing before starting
replaying conversations or worrying about what others think
Avoidance signs
Avoidance is one of the clearest signs of anxiety in adolescence. It brings instant relief, so it tends to grow. Watch for a teen who:
misses school, practice or plans more and more often
asks you to make phone calls or order food for them
drops activities they used to enjoy
stays in their room during family gatherings
has a reason not to go every single time
The signs that look like attitude
This is where many parents get stuck. Anxiety doesn't always look worried. In teens, it can look like:
irritability, snapping or arguing over small things
shutting down or giving one-word answers
procrastinating until the last minute, then melting down
"I don't care" when they actually care a lot
defiance when asked to do something that scares them
It's easy to read these as rudeness or laziness. Sometimes they are. But when they cluster around certain situations, like school mornings or social events, anxiety may be underneath. Responding with curiosity first, and consequences second, can make it easier for your teen to open up.
Signs of social anxiety in teenagers
Social anxiety centres on the fear of being judged or embarrassed. Signs of social anxiety in teenagers can include avoiding speaking in class, dreading group projects, skipping lunch in the cafeteria, refusing to answer the door or phone and spending a long time preparing for simple social moments. Many teens with social anxiety want friends very much. The fear gets in the way.
Signs of anxiety in teen girls and boys
Parents often ask whether the signs of anxiety in teen girls are different from the signs of anxiety in teen boys. The same NIMH survey found anxiety disorders were more common among adolescent girls than boys. Beyond that, we haven't found a reliable source that splits the signs themselves by gender, so we won't guess. Any teen can show any of the signs in this post. The more useful question is what has changed for your teen, and how much it's getting in the way.
Signs of depression and anxiety in teenagers
Anxiety and depression often travel together. Signs of depression and anxiety in teenagers can overlap: sleep changes, irritability, pulling away and losing interest in things. If your teen seems persistently sad, hopeless or flat, or talks about being a burden, take it seriously and reach out for support. If you're ever worried about their safety, use the crisis lines at the end of this post right away.
How to talk with your anxious teen
Teens are more likely to talk when they don't feel cornered. A few ideas:
Pick side-by-side moments. Car rides, walks and cooking together can feel less intense than a face-to-face talk.
Lead with what you've noticed. "I've noticed Thursdays seem really hard lately. What's going on?"
Listen more than you fix. Reflect what you hear before offering solutions.
Validate the feeling, not the fear. "That sounds really stressful" helps more than "There's nothing to worry about."
Stay calm. Your steady presence tells their nervous system it's safe.
Supporting without taking over
It's natural to want to remove whatever is causing your teen distress. But if you always make the call, write the email or let them skip, anxiety can quietly grow, because avoidance teaches the brain that the situation really was dangerous. Instead, try supporting small, brave steps. Help them plan the call, then let them make it. Praise the effort, not just the result. Keep routines like sleep, meals and movement as steady as you can.
Normal teen stress or anxiety? When to reach out
Some questions to think about:
Has it lasted more than a few weeks?
Is it affecting school, friendships, sleep or family life?
Is your teen avoiding more and more?
Are they asking for help, or do they seem stuck?
If the answer to any of these is yes, talking with a counsellor can help. You don't need to be certain it's anxiety first. Counselling is a place to sort that out together.
How teen counselling can help
In teen counselling, a therapist works with your teen to understand their anxiety, build coping skills and gradually face what they've been avoiding, at a pace that feels manageable. Approaches like cognitive behavioural therapy are commonly used. Parents can be involved in ways that fit your teen's age and needs.
We offer teen counselling in Kitchener-Waterloo, in Cambridge and in Ottawa. Our posts on teen therapy in Ottawa and teen therapy in Cambridge explain what sessions look like and what to expect. Online sessions anywhere in Ontario can be a gentler first step for a teen who dreads a new office.
Getting support
We offer counselling in person in Waterloo, Kitchener, Cambridge and Ottawa, and online anywhere in Ontario on a secure, encrypted video platform. Every service is available at every office.
Sessions with our therapists range from $130 to $200, depending on the clinician.
Depending on your plan, insurance may cover some or all of the cost. Coverage varies, so check your plan.
We can direct bill many insurers, including for sessions with a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying). Desjardins is the exception: through TELUS eClaims, we can direct bill Desjardins for sessions with an RSW, RP or psychologist, but not for an RP (Qualifying).
Book a free 15-minute consultation with our admin team to talk through what's going on and find the right fit for your teen.
If you're in crisis: if anyone is in immediate danger, call 911. If you or your teen is thinking about suicide or self-harm, call or text 9-8-8 any time. More options are on our crisis lines page.
Last reviewed: October 2026
Sources
Any Anxiety Disorder (statistics), National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
Anxiety: Signs and symptoms, AboutKidsHealth (SickKids)