You shouldn't have to explain or defend who you are before you can get help with what's actually bothering you. Yet many 2SLGBTQ+ people worry about exactly that when they think about therapy. If you're looking for an LGBTQ therapist, Ottawa has affirming support at our downtown office and online. This guide explains what affirming therapy means, why people come, what to ask a therapist and how to get started.
This post is general information, not a diagnosis or a treatment plan.
What affirming therapy means
Affirming therapy starts from a simple position: being lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, Two-Spirit, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual or any other identity is not a problem to be fixed. Your identity is respected, not debated.
In practice, that means:
You lead. You decide what to talk about. Your identity may be central to why you're coming, or it may have nothing to do with it.
Your name and pronouns are used. Every time, without fuss.
No one tries to change who you are. Conversion practices are illegal in Canada, and affirming therapy is the opposite of them.
Your context is understood. Discrimination, rejection and stress from living in a world that isn't always safe are recognized as real, not dismissed.
People search for this in different ways, whether as 2SLGBTQ+ therapy, Ottawa queer support or affirming counselling. What matters most is that you feel safe and respected.
Why people come to therapy
2SLGBTQ+ people come to therapy for the same reasons anyone does, and sometimes for reasons connected to identity. Common reasons include:
Anxiety and depression. Feeling on edge, low or numb.
Coming out. Deciding whether, when and how to tell people, and handling their reactions.
Family stress. Tension, distance or rejection from family members.
Relationships. Dating, breakups, conflict or building healthy partnerships.
Minority stress. The ongoing strain of discrimination, harassment or having to stay on guard.
Identity questions. Exploring gender, sexuality or both, at your own pace and without pressure to land on an answer.
Trauma. Bullying, violence or other painful experiences.
Everything else. Work stress, grief, self-esteem and life transitions.
You don't need to have it all figured out. "I want to talk to someone who gets it" is enough to start.
What sessions look like
Your first session is mostly a conversation. Your therapist will ask what brought you in and what you'd like to be different. You can share as much or as little about your identity as you want.
The therapists on our Ottawa team describe their approach as warm, collaborative and person-centred, with clients treated as the experts in their own lives. Depending on your goals, they may draw on approaches like CBT, DBT, emotionally focused therapy, mindfulness and Internal Family Systems (IFS).
Counselling is confidential. What you share stays between you and your therapist, with a few legal limits, such as serious safety concerns, that your therapist will explain at the start.
Minority stress, in plain words
Minority stress is the extra strain that comes from living as part of a group that faces stigma. It can come from obvious things, like harassment or being rejected by family. It can also come from quieter things, like scanning a room before holding a partner's hand, correcting someone's pronoun use for the third time that day or bracing for a reaction every time you mention your life.
Over time, that constant vigilance can wear you down. It can show up as anxiety, low mood, trouble sleeping, irritability or feeling disconnected. None of this means something is wrong with you. It's an understandable response to a stressful environment.
In therapy, you can name these experiences, make sense of how they affect you and find ways to protect your energy. That might include setting boundaries with certain people, building connections where you feel fully seen or challenging the harsh messages you may have absorbed about yourself along the way.
Questions to ask a therapist
Finding the right person matters. When you talk to a queer therapist, Ottawa therapist or any counsellor, these questions can help:
What's your experience working with 2SLGBTQ+ clients?
How do you approach identity in therapy?
Have you worked with trans and nonbinary clients?
How do you handle names and pronouns in notes and communication?
What would you do if I felt something you said wasn't affirming?
A good therapist will welcome these questions. If an answer doesn't sit right, it's okay to look for someone else. Our admin team can help you find a better fit.
Trans affirming therapy, Ottawa and online
Trans, nonbinary and gender-questioning people often deal with extra layers of stress, from family reactions to misgendering to navigating systems that weren't built for them. Trans affirming therapy, Ottawa sessions or online, means your gender is respected and your goals guide the work.
Therapy can be a place to explore your gender, process difficult experiences, build confidence or simply talk about life without having to educate the person across from you.
We offer counselling for LGBTQ2S+ concerns and gender identity at every one of our locations. Our page on LGBTQ2S+ counselling explains more about how counselling can help.
For teens and their parents
Many young people start questioning or exploring their identity in their teens. Having a safe, affirming adult to talk with can make a real difference.
In Ottawa, we offer individual therapy for children 6 and up, teens and adults. Teens can have their own sessions, where they can talk openly. Parents may be involved in some sessions or check-ins, depending on what the teen is comfortable with.
Parents also benefit from support. If your child has come out, you may have questions, worries or feelings of your own. Individual sessions can help you work through them so you can support your child well. Our post on teen therapy in Ottawa explains how individual sessions for teens work.
Finding support that fits
LGBTQ counselling, Ottawa or online, doesn't have to look one way. Some people want a therapist who focuses heavily on identity. Others want someone who's affirming but mostly helps them with anxiety, grief or work stress. Both are valid. Tell our admin team what matters most to you when you book, and they'll do their best to match you. You can also ask for a short call with a therapist before your first full session to see how it feels. If the fit isn't right after a session or two, switching is completely okay. Finding the right person is part of the process, and you never need to explain why you'd like a change.
Downtown Ottawa or online
Our Ottawa office is at 1 Rideau Street, 7th Floor, Ottawa, ON K1N 8S7, inside the Fairmont Château Laurier. You can reach the office at (613) 691-1006.
If you'd rather talk from home, online sessions are available anywhere in Ontario on a secure, encrypted video platform. Some people find it easier to open up in their own space. We also offer sessions in person in Waterloo, Kitchener and Cambridge.
Cost and billing
Here's what to know about cost:
Sessions with our therapists range from $130 to $200, depending on the clinician. Couples sessions range from $170 to $200.
Depending on your plan, insurance may cover some or all of the cost. Coverage varies, so it's worth checking your plan.
We accept Health Spending Accounts (HSAs).
We can direct bill many insurers, including for sessions with a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying). Desjardins is the exception: through TELUS eClaims, we can direct bill Desjardins for sessions with an RSW, RP or psychologist, but not for an RP (Qualifying).
Your first step
Book a free 15-minute consultation with our admin team. Share whatever you're comfortable with, including your name and pronouns, what you're looking for and whether you'd prefer downtown or online sessions.
If you're in crisis: call 911 if you or someone else is in immediate danger. If you're having thoughts of suicide, call or text 9-8-8 any time, day or night. You can find more options on our crisis lines page.
You deserve care that sees all of you. Reaching out is a good place to start.