You are home on a Friday night, and you were happy about it. Then you open your phone and see your friends out together. Suddenly your quiet night feels lonely, and you wonder why nobody asked you. That sinking feeling has a name: fear of missing out, or FOMO. This post explains what FOMO means, why it can feel so strong, how social media plays a part and what you can do to ease it. It also covers when talking to someone can help.
This post is general information, not a diagnosis. Only a qualified professional can assess what you're going through.
What is fear of missing out?
Fear of missing out is the worry that other people are having good experiences without you. It often comes with a strong urge to stay connected, so you keep checking in to see what others are doing. Researchers describe FOMO as having these two parts: the worry, and the urge to keep checking (see Sources).
So the FOMO meaning is simple. It is the feeling that life is happening somewhere else, and you are not part of it.
Almost everyone feels FOMO sometimes. It is a normal human feeling. It becomes a problem when it starts to drive your choices, steal your sleep or keep you from enjoying where you are.
Why FOMO can feel so strong
FOMO taps into some deep human needs.
We want to belong. Humans are social. Being left out can feel painful, even when we know it was not on purpose. Your brain may treat it as a sign that you are losing your place in the group.
We compare our everyday with other people's best moments. Most people share their highlights, like trips, parties and big news. They don't usually post the quiet nights, the boring commutes or the arguments. When you compare your ordinary day with someone else's highlight reel, your life can look small.
Big life changes make it worse. FOMO often grows during times of change. Starting at a new school, moving to a new city, having a baby, changing jobs or going through a breakup can all leave you feeling on the outside.
FOMO and social media
Social media can feed FOMO in a loop. You check your phone. You see something that makes you feel left out. You feel worse, so you check again to see what else you are missing. Before you know it, an hour has gone by.
Research has found links between FOMO and heavier or harder-to-control phone and social media use. Studies have also found links between FOMO and more anxiety and low mood (see Sources). Most of this research comes from surveys taken at one point in time. That means it shows a link, not a cause. We don't know for sure whether social media causes FOMO, whether FOMO leads to more scrolling, or both.
What we do know is that many people feel better when they take more control over how and when they use their phones.
FOMO anxiety, when it is more than a passing feeling
For some people, FOMO is a passing twinge. For others, it can turn into ongoing worry. FOMO anxiety might look like:
Trouble sleeping because you keep checking your phone at night
Saying yes to every plan, even when you are tired or don't want to go
Never quite enjoying where you are, because you are thinking about somewhere else
Spending money you don't have so you won't miss out
Feeling restless, tense or down after time online
FOMO can travel with other struggles too. It can show up alongside social anxiety, low mood or low self-esteem. That does not mean you have any of these. Only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis. But if FOMO is part of a bigger pattern of worry, it may be worth looking at the whole picture.
How to stop FOMO from running your plans
You can't make FOMO disappear, but you can take away some of its power. Here are some ideas to try:
Notice the trigger. Pay attention to when FOMO hits. Is it late at night? After checking a certain app? When you are tired or alone? Knowing your triggers helps you plan.
Check on purpose, not by reflex. Before you open your phone, ask yourself, "What am I looking for?" If there is no clear reason, try waiting a few minutes.
Make phone-free blocks. Choose times when your phone stays in another room, like meals, the first hour of the morning or the hour before bed.
Choose plans by what matters to you. Instead of asking, "What will I miss?", ask, "What do I actually want to do?" A quiet night can be a good choice, not a missed chance.
Reach out to one person directly. If you feel left out, send a message to a friend and make a plan. Real connection often helps more than scrolling.
Try the joy of missing out. Some people call it JOMO. It means enjoying the moment you are in, without worrying about what else is happening.
Small changes add up. Be patient with yourself as you try new habits.
FOMO for students, new parents and newcomers
FOMO can look a little different depending on where you are in life.
Students may feel pressure to go to every party, join every club and keep up with every group chat. It can help to remember that you don't have to do everything to have a good school year. A few close friends often matter more than a packed calendar.
New parents may feel like the rest of the world is moving on while they are home with a baby. Seeing friends out late or travelling can sting. This stage is often a season, not forever. Small moments of connection, like a short call or a walk with another parent, can help.
Newcomers to Canada or to a new city may feel FOMO as they watch friends and family back home carry on without them. At the same time, they may feel on the outside of new groups. Building new ties takes time, and it is okay to feel two places at once.
When talking to someone helps
If FOMO keeps you anxious, low or stuck, talking with a therapist can help. You don't have to wait until things feel serious.
Anxiety therapy can help you understand what drives your worry and find ways to calm it. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is one approach that can help with both the worry and the checking habits. It teaches you to notice anxious thoughts, test them and try new responses. You can read more about our anxiety counselling and CBT counselling.
If FOMO is tied to how you see yourself, our self-esteem counselling may also help. The free consultation can match you with a therapist who works this way. We have offices in Kitchener, Waterloo, Cambridge and Ottawa, and we offer online sessions anywhere in Ontario.
Cost, billing and your first step
Sessions with our therapists range from $130 to $200, depending on the clinician.
We accept Health Spending Accounts (HSAs).
We can direct bill many insurers. Coverage depends on your plan, so check with your insurer before you start.
Book a free 15-minute consultation with our admin team. Let them know you'd like help with FOMO or anxiety, and whether you prefer in person or online, and they'll help you find a good fit.
If you're in crisis: if you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 911. If you're thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 any time, day or night.
Last reviewed: October 2026
Sources
Fear of missing out (FOMO): overview, theoretical underpinnings, and literature review on relations with severity of negative affectivity and problematic technology use, Elhai and colleagues, Brazilian Journal of Psychiatry, 2021
Anxiety disorders, Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH)