One small comment, and you go from calm to furious in seconds. Or a wave of sadness or panic hits so hard you can't think straight. Afterwards, it takes hours to settle, and you may regret what you said or did. Some people go the other way and shut down completely. If any of this sounds familiar, emotional regulation counselling in Ottawa can help. This post explains what emotional dysregulation can feel like, what may sit underneath it, what therapy works on and how to start downtown or online.
This post is general information, not a diagnosis. Only a qualified professional can assess what you're going through.
Emotional regulation counselling in Ottawa, who it is for
Emotional regulation means being able to notice, understand and manage your feelings in ways that fit the situation. It doesn't mean never feeling angry, sad or scared. Everyone has strong feelings. Regulation is about having some choice in how you respond.
Emotional regulation counselling in Ottawa is for adults (18 and up) whose feelings come on fast and strong. It's also for people who tend to shut down and go numb. Many people have a mix of both. Sessions are offered at our downtown Ottawa office or online.
What emotional dysregulation can feel like
Emotional dysregulation can look different from person to person. You might notice:
Zero to a hundred. Feelings go from calm to intense in seconds.
A long way back down. It takes hours, or even days, to feel settled again.
Saying things you regret. Words come out before you can stop them.
Acting on urges. Slamming doors, sending a heated text or quitting something suddenly.
Shutting down. Going numb, blank or silent when things get too much.
Feeling ashamed afterwards. Wondering, "Why can't I just stay calm like everyone else?"
These patterns can strain relationships, work and self-esteem. That's often when people start looking for an emotional dysregulation therapist in Ottawa.
What can sit underneath
There's rarely one cause. Many things can make feelings harder to manage, such as:
Ongoing stress or burnout
Past trauma, especially in childhood
ADHD
Grief or big life changes
Poor sleep, hunger or illness
A 2022 research review found that emotional dysregulation shows up across many different mental health conditions. These include bipolar disorder, ADHD, autism and some personality disorders. In other words, it's a common thread, not a single diagnosis.
You don't need a diagnosis to get support. Your therapist can help you sort out what's going on for you, and whether any other assessment might help.
What emotional regulation therapy in Ottawa works on
Emotional regulation therapy in Ottawa usually focuses on four areas:
Noticing early body signals. A tight jaw, hot face or racing heart often show up before the feeling peaks. Catching them early gives you more room to choose.
Knowing your triggers. Certain words, tones, situations or times of day may set things off. Spotting patterns helps you plan.
Choosing a response. Learning ways to pause, calm your body and respond in line with your values.
Repairing after a blow-up. Everyone loses it sometimes. Learning to apologize, reconnect and learn from it is a skill too.
Emotion regulation skills, and more than skills
Emotion regulation skills can be simple. Naming the feeling ("I'm really angry right now"), taking a slow breath or stepping away for a few minutes can all help in the moment.
But skills are only part of the picture. Research on emotion regulation is moving beyond single tips. A 2023 paper by leading researchers makes this point. How we manage feelings depends on the moment and the people around us. It also depends on what happens before, during and after an emotion. And other people can help us calm down, too. That's why therapy also looks at your patterns, your relationships and the stories you tell yourself about your feelings. Understanding why something hits so hard can make the skills easier to use.
When strong feelings affect your relationships
Big emotions often show up most with the people closest to us. You might snap at a partner, then feel awful. You might go silent during a disagreement because you can't find the words. Friends or family may tell you that you're "too much" or that they never know what mood you'll be in.
These patterns can leave everyone walking on eggshells. Counselling can help you notice what happens in these moments and find new ways to respond. Over time, you can learn to ask for a break, explain what you're feeling and come back to the talk when you're calmer. Small changes like these can make home feel safer for everyone.
What a first session is like
Your first session is a chance to talk about what's been happening and what you'd like to change. Your therapist may ask about recent times when feelings took over, how you coped and what helps even a little. There's no right or wrong answer. You set the goals together, and you can go at your own pace.
Which approach fits you
There's no one right method. Depending on your needs and your therapist, sessions may draw on approaches such as:
Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) informed work, which teaches practical skills for intense emotions. Learn more about DBT therapy in Ottawa.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which looks at how thoughts, feelings and actions connect.
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), which helps you make room for hard feelings while acting on your values.
Emotion-focused therapy (EFT), which helps you understand and work with emotions rather than against them.
The U.S. National Institute of Mental Health notes that talk therapy aims to help people identify and change troubling emotions, thoughts and behaviours. Your therapist will talk with you about what fits.
Emotional regulation therapists in Ottawa
Two of our Ottawa therapists list emotional regulation on their profiles. Both see adults (18 and up) at our downtown office and online:
Keerat Aujla, RP (Qualifying). Learn more about Keerat Aujla.
Marie Fideline Igihozo, RP (Qualifying). Learn more about Marie Fideline Igihozo.
We can direct bill many insurers for sessions with RP (Qualifying) therapists too. Help managing emotions in Ottawa starts with the free consultation, where our admin team can match you with the right person.
If you're thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911.
Downtown Ottawa or online
Our Ottawa office is at 1 Rideau St, 7th Floor, Ottawa, ON K1N 8S7. You'll find us on the seventh floor of the Fairmont Chateau Laurier, in the heart of downtown. We've been seeing clients in Ottawa since 2016. Many people like that the office feels calm and private, even in the middle of the city. Call (613) 691-1006.
If coming downtown doesn't suit your schedule, online sessions run on a secure video link we email to you. There's nothing to download, and you can join from anywhere private in Ontario.
Cost, billing and your first step
Sessions with our therapists range from $130 to $200, depending on the clinician.
We accept Health Spending Accounts (HSAs).
We can direct bill many insurers. Coverage depends on your plan, so check with your insurer before you start.
Book a free 15-minute consultation with our admin team. Let them know you'd like help with emotional regulation, and whether you prefer downtown Ottawa or online, and they'll help you find a good fit.
If you're in crisis: if you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 911. If you're thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 any time, day or night.
Last reviewed: October 2026
Sources
The future of emotion regulation research: broadening our field of view, Petrova and Gross, Affective Science, 2023
Emotional dysregulation as trans-nosographic psychopathological dimension in adulthood: a systematic review, Carmassi and colleagues, Frontiers in Psychiatry, 2022
Psychotherapies, National Institute of Mental Health