Therapy is a deeply human process. A client comes to a therapist with personal struggles, and together they build a relationship that becomes the foundation for change. Because therapy involves two people, both bring their personalities, histories and emotions into the room. In this shared space, complex psychological phenomena can occur. Two of these phenomena—transference and countertransference—play important roles in the therapeutic relationship. Understanding them helps clients feel more informed and confident about the counselling process.
Transference vs. Countertransference
Transference: This occurs when a client unconsciously redirects feelings, expectations or desires from important relationships in their past onto the therapist. For example, a client might react to a therapist as if the therapist were a critical parent, a distant partner or a nurturing friend. Transference can be positive or negative and often happens outside of conscious awareness.
Countertransference: This refers to the therapist’s emotional reactions to a client. These feelings are influenced by the therapist’s own history, personality and unresolved issues. A therapist may feel overly protective of a client who reminds them of a younger sibling, or they might feel irritated by a client who exhibits traits that trigger their own insecurities. Like transference, countertransference can be positive or negative.
Both transference and countertransference can be powerful tools in therapy. When recognized and explored, they provide insight into the client’s relational patterns and the therapist’s blind spots. When unrecognized, they can interfere with the therapeutic process.
Examples of Countertransference
Countertransference can show up in various ways:
Parental feelings: A therapist might feel compelled to give parental advice or worry excessively about a young client, as if they were their child.
Rescue fantasies: A counsellor may want to "save" a client from their problems, overextending themselves or taking on responsibility that belongs to the client.
Attraction or aversion: Therapists are human; they might find themselves feeling attracted to a client or, conversely, uncomfortable or impatient. These feelings can stem from the therapist’s personal history.
Over-identification: When a therapist has gone through similar experiences (e.g., divorce, trauma), they may identify strongly with the client and assume their own coping methods are best.
None of these reactions make a therapist bad. Counsellors are trained to expect emotional responses and to manage them appropriately.
Why Countertransference Matters
Countertransference matters because it can influence how a therapist responds, interprets and intervenes. If left unchecked, it might lead to:
Biased interpretations: A therapist might misinterpret a client’s behaviour through the lens of their own experiences.
Boundary issues: Over-involvement (e.g., extending sessions excessively) or under-engagement (e.g., emotionally withdrawing) can result when a therapist’s feelings cloud judgment.
Loss of objectivity: Therapists might become less effective if they project their own needs or expectations onto clients.
However, countertransference can also be beneficial. When therapists notice their reactions, they can use them to better understand the client’s impact on others, identify relational patterns and empathize more deeply. If a therapist feels protective, for instance, they might explore how others have overprotected the client.
How Therapists Manage Countertransference
Ethical therapists are trained to manage countertransference through several strategies:
Self-awareness: Therapists engage in their own therapy, mindfulness and reflection to understand personal triggers and emotional responses.
Supervision and consultation: Counsellors consult with supervisors or peer groups, discussing challenging cases to gain perspective and identify countertransference.
Continuing education: Training and workshops help therapists recognize countertransference and develop skills to handle it.
Clear boundaries: Therapists maintain professional boundaries (session length, contact outside appointments) to protect the therapeutic relationship.
Countertransference is not a failure, it’s an expected part of therapy. Skilled therapists use it as a tool for growth rather than letting it interfere with treatment.
What Clients Should Know
Understanding countertransference can demystify therapy:
You are allowed to be curious. If you sense a change in your therapist’s tone or behaviour, it’s okay to ask about it.
Your feelings are valid. If you feel judged, dismissed or overly dependent on your therapist, bring it up.
Therapy is collaborative. While therapists hold professional responsibility, you are an active participant. Sharing your reactions can enhance the work you do together.
Boundaries protect you. Therapists maintain boundaries not because they don’t care, but because boundaries provide structure that supports effective therapy.
Exploring Relationships Through Counselling
Countertransference reminds us that therapy is a relationship. Working through relational dynamics with a trained professional can help you recognize patterns in how you relate to others, identify unmet needs from past relationships and practice assertive communication and boundary-setting. Understanding and working with these dynamics can be transformative, leading to greater self-awareness and healthier relationships outside therapy.
Taking Care of Yourself When Therapy Feels Triggering
Sometimes, exploring transference and countertransference can feel uncomfortable. If therapy evokes strong emotions or triggers, consider these self-care tips:
Reflect in a journal. Writing about sessions can help you process feelings.
Practice grounding techniques. Deep breathing, stretching or mindfulness exercises can calm your nervous system after sessions.
Reach out to supportive friends or family. Share your feelings with someone you trust.
Discuss your feelings in therapy. Don’t hesitate to bring up discomfort with your therapist. Exploring that discomfort is part of the healing process.
Final Thoughts and Transformation Counselling Invitation
Countertransference is a natural part of therapy that highlights the humanity of both client and counsellor. When managed ethically, it becomes a powerful tool for insight and growth. Understanding this concept helps demystify therapy and shows that even the professional relationship is dynamic, reflective and centered on personal development.
At Transformation Counselling, we approach therapy as a collaborative journey. Our therapists commit to continual self-reflection, supervision and ethical practice, ensuring that countertransference is used constructively to deepen understanding and foster healing. We believe mental health care should be accessible and not intimidating. Therapy isn’t about being broken, it’s about being human and giving yourself the care you deserve.
If you’re ready to explore counselling—whether you’re curious about transference and countertransference or seeking support for anxiety, relationships or personal growth—our team is here for you. Taking the first step is simple:
Complete a brief intake form.
Get matched with a therapist who fits your needs and preferences.
Schedule sessions at convenient times, online or in person.
Begin your journey toward greater self-understanding and relational health.
You deserve professional support rooted in compassion, integrity and insight. Book an Appointment with Transformation Counselling today, and let us walk alongside you on your path to wellness.
