Grief is a deeply personal and emotional journey that we all experience in our own way. Whether it stems from the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a major life change, or even a shift in identity, grief can feel overwhelming. At Transformation Counselling, we believe in walking alongside you with empathy, understanding, and care. In this article, we explore the 5 stages of grief—originally introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross—and how embracing these stages can support your path to acceptance and healing.
1. Denial – A Temporary Shelter from Pain
Denial often serves as the mind’s first defense mechanism. It's our way of cushioning the initial shock of loss. In this stage, you may find yourself thinking, “This can’t be happening,” or feeling emotionally numb.
While it may seem like you're avoiding reality, denial gives your heart the time it needs to adjust. It’s a natural, protective part of the process that allows you to slowly absorb the truth without becoming overwhelmed all at once.
Key takeaway: Denial is not a sign of weakness—it’s your brain’s way of helping you survive emotionally.
2. Anger – The Emotional Release Valve
As denial begins to wear off, the raw pain of loss starts to surface, often presenting as anger. You might feel frustrated, helpless, or question the fairness of the situation: “Why me?” or “How could this happen?”
Anger may be directed at people, situations, or even the person you've lost. Though it can feel isolating, expressing anger is a vital part of grieving. It helps you externalize pain rather than keeping it bottled up.
Key takeaway: Allow yourself to feel anger—it’s a valid and necessary emotional outlet on the road to healing.
3. Bargaining – “What If” and “If Only”
In the bargaining stage, it's common to replay scenarios in your mind, imagining ways things could have turned out differently. Thoughts like “If only I had said something sooner” or “What if we had gone to the doctor earlier?” can be frequent companions.
Bargaining is often driven by a desire to regain control during a time of powerlessness. It’s also a way of clinging to hope as we search for meaning in our loss.
Key takeaway: Bargaining shows how deeply we care and reflects our longing for resolution and peace.
4. Depression – A Natural Response to Profound Loss
At this stage, reality fully sets in. You may feel a deep sadness, emptiness, or lack of motivation. It can be tempting to see depression as something to “fix,” but when connected to grief, it’s often a sign that you're beginning to come to terms with the loss.
Grieving takes energy. It’s okay to withdraw for a while, reflect, and feel the weight of your emotions. Processing sorrow, rather than avoiding it, is a brave and healing step.
Key takeaway: Feeling low is a normal response to loss. You don’t have to go through it alone.
5. Acceptance – A New Chapter Begins
Acceptance doesn’t mean “moving on” or forgetting. It means learning to live with the reality of your loss and finding ways to grow through it. You may start to re-engage with life, find meaning again, and even carry your loss forward with grace.
You’ll likely still feel sadness, and that’s okay. Acceptance is about integrating your grief into your life, rather than resisting or avoiding it.
Key takeaway: Acceptance marks the beginning of a new chapter—one that honors your loss while embracing life ahead.
Grief Is Not Linear—And That’s Okay
It’s important to know that these stages are not strict or sequential. You may experience them in a different order, revisit stages, or skip some entirely. Everyone grieves differently, and your journey is valid just as it is.
Whether your grief is fresh or has lingered for years, healing is always possible—with time, support, and compassion.
You Don’t Have to Walk This Path Alone
At Transformation Counselling, we understand how heavy grief can feel. Our compassionate therapists are here to help you process your emotions, explore meaning, and guide you gently toward acceptance. If you're struggling with grief, please know that support is available.
Click the button below to get connected with a therapist who can help you take the next step in your healing journey. Your story matters—and we're here to listen.